Preview: A Free Party In A Pear Tree

Banksy, ducks and the Mayan apocalypse. Just another Xmas in Berlin!

I have some appalling fantastic news: there's only two days left until the 2012Apocalypse Winter Solstice!  After Friday, everybody can breathe a sigh of relief because they'll never ever have to go through Christmas again the days start getting longer!  Better yet, the End Times carnage New Year's Eve is just around the corner!

Sorry for all the scratched-out phrases.  I just wasn't sure whether this week's entry should be about the surviving the end of the world or about having a 'holly jolly Christmas'.  Should I be telling readers to stock up on stollen and head for the nearest Weinachtsmarkt, or to stock up on ammo and head for the nearest air-raid shelter?  Should everybody be singing "peace on earth and good will to all" or screaming, "OMFG the aliens just touched down we're all gonna dieeee"?   Sigh... every year writing these Christmas previews just seems to get more and more complicated...! 

As usual, Berlin's party scene has provided some answers... or at the very least, some comic relief.  This week, party promoters are going all out to skillfully blend End-Times terror with timeless holiday cheer.

Firstly, we have the Bosconi ApocalyXMas party at Chalet Club on Friday the 21st.  It will double as a Solstice party, since the 21st is also the shortest day of the year.  Hot tip: while you're there, why not try some of their hot honey mead?  It's also sold at almost every Weihnachtsmarkt (Christmas market) in town, as 'Met'.  

Reading through all these End of the World party listings, I have to shake my head - they're all a bit of an organizational shambles!  Very un-German.  Most of them are starting on Friday the 21st at 11:59 p.m.  Hello, did you guys not get the Mayan memo that said, 'Time as we know it will end at midnight on December 21st 2012'?   I would have thought they'd try and open a bit earlier to cash in, and give guests a couple of minutes to dance before the world ends.  Jeez.  One little whiff of the apocalypse, and all sense of organization just goes right out the window. 

Maya's Weltende at Golden Gate is one of those parties that's opening at midnight on the 21st, but it still gets a thumbs-up because the party's blurb on Resident Advisor tells the engrossing tale of a girl named Maya, her duck and their shared travels to the world's end.  Which is far more entertaining than an overinflated list of DJ bios, each using 500+ words to say, "I play electronic music".  The entry at Golden Gate is usually around 5 Euros.

One Apocalyptic party that definitely has all its Mayan ducks in a row is Das Ende Der Welt at Salon Zur Wilden Renate on Thursday the 20th.  The party combines warm Xmas generosity (entry is free before midnight) with such Apocypractical party activities as The Final Countdown, Survival Training and The Last 15min Of Fame.  Something for the whole family... always assuming that family is made up of tipsy, glittery 20-somethings who are secretly hoping to become a Pin Up of the Apocalypse! 

Just as a note of interest, Berghain will be closed this Saturday and Sunday because the world won't exist anymore, innit they want to open on the 24th and 25th of December, instead.  This is good news for all those readers who believe that holiday 'cheer' should always have a couple of E's in it. Entry is up to the bouncers... as always! But turning up in a Santa hat and no pants will probably help your chances.

SO36's Kurzurlaub party on Monday the 24th is for anybody who wants to escape the Christmas Terror in its entirety, and simply pretend that they're somewhere else... Paris, maybe; or the Baltic Sea.  Admittedly, it's not all that different from many other parties in town that night, but it's SO36!  Come on!  For those of you who haven't been there before, SO36 is a warmly lit venue with a warmly lit-up crowd, and it's usually friendly and fun.  Entry is 5 Euros.


And now for a brief listing of free parties:

December 24th (German & Austrian Christmas):

No Silent Night at Tresor.  Globus floor only will be open. 

Residents Night at MAGDalena.

Dienstagswelt at MIKZ - not free but it is 2 for 5 euros (plus a kiss) at their Glitzerwelt Weihnachts special.  Marcel Cluso, whose techno set we danced to at F*ck Parade this year, will be playing, among others. 


December 25th (the rest of the Western world's Christmas):

Dangerous Drums will be at Solar in Kreuzberg.

Hope that helps everybody to have a Merry Yuletide... frohe Weihnachten... Joyeux Noel... Feliz Navidad.... and if we don't survive past the 21st of December, then thanks for making this blog entry the last one that you read!